Thursday, December 17, 2009

We aren't like Rubber bands

When you were a kid and a rubber band found its way into your hand, the curiosity of how far the rubber band would go, usually had you stretching it, shooting it, marking the spot, and trying again over and over.
Well I feel like Ive been stretched too far, and am having a hard time finding my way back. Having a baby takes a toll on every woman, with every birth. This marks my third birthing experience and by far the longest time to snap back from it. What can I do to get back where I used to be, or will I ever get to that spot again? I sleep pretty early, am up several times a night with Hailey, and sleep in anywhere from 9 to 10am. Luckily my kids aren't in school yet, and my husband works from home, and also serves them breakfast, while I'm still catching Z's!
I haven't felt like doing anything around the house, except the things that need to be done.
Shhh...don't tell but Ive got laundry in the dryer, that I DON'T feel like folding... What is up with this?I used to be total OCD with everything. Such a shame....I haven't even decorated for Christmas, and don't plan to. Id like to jump through time to January 2nd, after all the festivities have past. Not because I don't want to celebrate the birth of Jesus, or being with family, but because I'm tired, just plain and simple, wore out. Ive put up a Pink Christmas tree in my daughters room,which she loves, didn't get around to putting up my sons, and finally wrapped 80% of presents, maybe Ill get to the rest before Christmas, hopefully. IDK.

Does it take time? How much time? Back, will I ever find it? That energy, the will, the strength, Ill take a dose of all three!

I'm going to take a nap, with my newborn...they say I should sleep when she does...

My post pregnancy appointment is Jan 5th...hopefully she has an answer!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Finding the Perfect One

10 years ago when making a purchase, we'd have to visit the many different stores to compare prices. Nowadays we sit, in the comfort of our homes, (in our Jammies) and do online searches.

Knowing I would be a nursing Mommy I wanted to pick up a Nursing cover, and began my search a couple months ago while at Target. Target is equipped with all sorts of baby gear and plenty of brands to choose from. I located only one Nursing cover. The cover was nice, all black, tiny pocket, secure neck Velcro, and a good price of $10 dollars. Although reasonably priced it was too small. Not wanting any accidental flashing's, Id like mine wider.
It would most likely get the job done but for $10 dollars I can probably run over to Joann's and buy fabric and try making one. Baby appointments are nearing as well as appointments for myself, so this is going to be very, very handy in the near future.

The online search pretty much showed me what I didn't want to spend on something like this. With shipping $35 +. Now my search will be a pattern, where can I find one of those? Or do I need one? Ah! Sewing for dummies, would come in handy... My search continues...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

My Story

When God designed the body of a woman he made it perfect! I only have one complaint, why is labor so intense! Lets go back in time so you get a better understanding of where I'm coming from.

36wks ago I was 5 wks preggers and thrilled to know a baby was on its way! My family even went out to a "Congratulations" type dinner (anything to go out to eat,LOL) Seemed we were headed in the right direction of completing our family of 5. We already have a son, and daughter, so a healthy baby and mommy was it on our Want list.

So as the weeks went on with no complications, I began thinking about labor and my preferred birthing method. From experience having had my son c-section, the pain, the recovery time and that scar, was not for me! My second was a VBAC, which seemed like an easier route to take, and the one I'd choose. I mentioned my decision to my midwife, and left my appt that day grinning from ear to ear! I'd gotten so much positive support I just knew it was a possibility NOW!

By the time my 37th week appt came, I left that day almost in tears. I had signed the line... Since having a prior C-section, they will not induce if I get to my due date and have not delivered. My heart sank I knew I'd just signed the line that caused my body so much pain, discomfort and a horrible scar. From this point I knew I needed to deliver her before my due date or else... So I searched the Internet for ways to bring on labor. I found so many ways people thought brought on labor they are almost too funny to repeat. Okay, Ill name a few just to amuse you!

Galloping (on a curb, so one foot on curb while other is on get the idea)
Spicy food (Heartburn, yikes definitely a no no)
Castor Oil (Nuts, never ever would purposely give myself the you know WHATS!!!!!!!!)
Acupuncture (More Pain? No...)
Long Walks (Nope)
Cohosh (Didn't try)
Evening Primrose Oil (Didn't try)

Just to name a few! Maybe one or more of these worked for you, these are only my opinions, and we all have opinions like we all have noses. So please don't get offended.

Onto the day of pain. Tuesday November 24th I woke up a little before 8 am, and felt what I thought were "real" labor pains. So I woke up my DH just to let him know I was going to sit and time them for about an hour. As I sat there in disbelief, my contractions were 5 mins apart on the dot and getting stronger and stronger. So at 9 I woke up my DH again, and told him to get ready, cause it was time. So being my cool and collective self, I decided to take a shower...bad bad idea! Now, I'm screaming every 3-4 mins, and can hardly stand in the shower cause of the pain. Knowing that this was very dangerous in the shower, I got out and dressed as fast as I could, and by now my contractions were a strong 3 mins apart. I'm dressed and now making my way out of my master bedroom down the hall to the stairs, when i cant go any longer. Down 4 stairs, I need to turn around and get on my knees I'm in so much pain. So I'm forced to go down the stairs on my knees. So when I finally make it to the car, my contractions have become even more painful (how much more painful can these suckers get??) and now at every 2 mins....

Luckily my lovely sister only lives a few streets away from me, we arrived within minutes to drop off my daughter and son. SCREAMING! There are 6 stop signs between my home and hers, at stop sign 3 I told my DH he needed to call an ambulance "NOW cause she was coming..."! 3 stop signs later he was on the phone with 911. My hospital is 45mins-1hour away from where we live, there was No Way on Gods green earth I would have made it. So I sat there in the passenger seat of our SUV, screaming in pain for what seemed like forever! Until I heard the ambulance siren, and by then I was screaming Louder, cause my contractions had now been one minute apart!

*And just to give a little credit where credit is due, my mom always told us to "Always wear clean panties, cause your a lady and you Never know what can happen to you!" Thank you MOMMY! Boy, was I pleased with myself for hopping in the shower and putting on some clean panties!!! Even though they cut them off as well as my super cute black and white maternity skirt I was wearing, at least they were clean!!!*

All this was going on my eyes are closed the whole time, I'm getting anxious, my hands are numb and I seriously think its the end, I'm dying...! Well not dying, but I sure did feel like I was!

So I pop my eyes open and there are about 8 strangers staring not at my eyes but, at "the baby area!" If you know me, I am a very quiet, very reserved, and a very private person. I don't dress in front of anyone, I don't talk about private issues with anyone other then my Dr and even then i feel embarrassed. I just don't do certain things, so this was "VERY Shocking!"

My eyes are closed, my DH in trying to calm me, my sister is trying to calm me and the medics are trying to get me on a stretcher to rush me to the ER. I'm in the ambulance, 10cm and my contractions are like 30 secs apart, water broke (poor ambulance, all over, let me tell you!) It takes the ambulance 8 mins to get me to the closest ER in my area. Once in the ER they rush me to another room, plop me on the bed, and I'm dying this whole time, screaming in pain, asking them to "hurry", and telling them "I NEED to push!"

I've heard so many horrible stories of woman having babies and pooping on the table, and let me tell you, It was NOT going to be me! So there I was 8 Nurses, my DH, and several people I didn't know what they were doing there. The Nurses must have poked my arms 8 times trying to give me an IV, and never could get a vein, "HELLO"! Ive now been laying on the bed for almost ten minutes dying screaming, on my side, cause they don't want me to push, my left arm all bloody, cause the Nurses couldn't find a vein, and were messy about it. And the wait, why were we waiting? I was dying, did they not hear? Well it was for the Doctor... cant do anything without him! He arrives and one minute later he tells me to push, I push, I feel burning (I tore,Ugh!), and shes out! One push brought my gorgeous daughter to her Mommy's arms at 11:58am Hailey Madison Paige was born.

By this time, I had my daughter in my arms, and forgot about the pain, even when the Dr stitched me! CRINGE! ouch! I give all the honor to God for sending me a healthy baby girl, and keeping me healthy too! The next day I went home, and began the journey of raising a newborn a 2 year old and a 4 year old! I couldn't do this without the help of my DH, who I love endlessly!!! Now that 18 days have pasted, its still hard for me to think about those several hours before the delivery of my daughter. The whole experience and the pain would be hard for anyone to forget.
Everyday with her has been a blessing! My 2 and 4 year old, cant get enough of her, cant kiss her enough, touch her hand enough, and just want to be involved with everything, getting diapers, wipes, clothes, baths, and can you imagine all the questions I get, tons! They are like sponges, and don't forget anything regarding Hailey. She is lucky to have them, which she will see as she gets older.